• Involve Your Partner
• Your Relationship
  and ED
• Talking With Your Partner
• More ED Info and Support
• Conversation Starters
• Living With ED
• Restarting Your
  Sex Life
• Sexual Stimulation

Conversation Starters

Here is a passage by Raymond C. Rosen, PhD, as he speaks to partners who feel they may be alone as they struggle with a partner who suffers from ED.

What should I do if I think my partner has ED?

Since ED is a couple's problem, you need to try to have a conversation with your partner about what is happening in your sexual relationship. He may be sensitive about the topic, or unwilling to talk. You will need to be reassuring and supportive.

Before you talk with your partner, think about what has been happening in your relationship. Has your partner been avoiding sex? Are you avoiding sex to spare his feelings about the problem? Do you feel angry or resentful about his ED? A partner who is initially supportive may become discouraged when the problem persists. She may incorrectly infer that ED means her partner is no longer attracted to her, or has found another lover, or doesn't enjoy sex with her. You can best help your partner, and yourself, if you recognize how you feel about the problem.

• Sex has always been a pleasurable and important part of your relationship. You want to help to resolve his ED so that you can resume this valued intimacy.
• You are not blaming him for the problem. It affects both of you, and it's something you need to deal with together.
• It is better to address the problem sooner rather than later. Avoiding the problem in the hope that it will go away by itself is not a good idea. The longer ED persists, the more likely that it will cause changes in your relationship that may be difficult to overcome.
• ED is almost always a problem that can be treated successfully. There are many highly effective medical treatments available. A visit to your doctor may be all that's needed.

Here are some ways that you might bring up the possibility of ED:

"Let's talk about what is happening to our sex life recently."

"I know that you've been feeling stressed out (or tired, or unhappy) with work. Do you think that might be affecting our sex life in some way?"

"We haven't had much time alone recently. Is there something bothering you we should talk about?"

The information contained here is provided from a third-party publication as a courtesy to our visitors. It is not to be considered an endorsement by Eli Lilly and Company. Remember, only your doctor or other healthcare professional can determine if you have erectile dysfunction and if treatment is right for you.